I scrolled past this picture this morning and it reminded me of a 10yo girl I once knew. Me. Growing up my mom was the Campfire leader for my grade and every year we would go to a Summer camp about an hour from our hometown. Archery, canoeing, nature walking…it was a great time in my life. Lots of friendships that I still cherish today. But the girl in the boat would someday grow up, and that girl never, metaphorically, got out.
I’m not sure why I didn’t ever press beyond my comfort zone. I seemed to also make decisions based on comfort and familiarity. Always needing approval; I never felt skilled or special. My parents always made me feel special – a different special – but I, personally, never felt special in the way of being something bigger than I was. I was normal. Everything about me, average. Average height, weight, looks, intelligence. Nothing about me stood out…my perspective held me back. I felt unworthy when I was given a solo act, if you will.
But what I have learned this past year is, most of us have felt that way; insecurity and the fear of being unaccepted. Is it just a girl thing? Doubtful. The pressure to be different, to stand-out and go into a situation fearless is overwhelming. Being a highly sensitive and intuitive person, every emotion and action surrounding me triggers my inability to focus on my very own. What is that makes Kori special? What makes me standout and fearless? Well, I’ve found it. Jesus.
“I” don’t standout because of Him, I standout because of “Him”! Reread that if you need to…because there is a play on words in there. Please don’t confuse this. The need of being different and highlighted is again, overwhelming. But we should only feel the “standing out” from others because we glorify Him. Our needs are fulfilled only through His love and joy.
I am a standout and special in who I am because of Who’s I am. I am a child of God! A daughter of a King! And I am beautiful. Earthly? Maybe, maybe not…but I just don’t care. Amazing how the perception He can give changes even the meaning and placement of words to something beyond ourselves. Glory be to the Father!