I woke up this morning and had a realization that pained me. I woke up knowing I have hurt God. Not just from my past sins, but from one just yesterday.
I’m not being a follower of Christ who is always loving. I’m not trying diligently enough with some people that God has placed in my life. It’s so easy to love those who give love in return; those who make moments together joyful and positive; but very difficult to those who God has placed in my life that can bring moments that leave me shaking my head, and questioning “why”, and “I don’t understand”.
I do not want to be that person!
And God gives me the free choice to not be!
God has laid it on my heart, big time. I’m being a complete hypocrite! I talk about loving others, and being joyful, and being positive…yet, sometimes I can’t be. I say I try, but am I really trying hard enough? Am I relying on God, and His Holy Spirit, to give me the love I need when mine is depleted, emptied, and dry? Nope, I am not. And I know this because I have moments of being unloving and judgmental.
It’s the season of Thanksgiving, and today I am left with realizing I am unthankful in many ways. I want to be thankful for all the blessings God has given me, and I am, but I also want to be thankful that God loves me so much, that He humbles me when I need it. It’s painful, yes, but to grow in faith and in His strength and love, I need to be put in my place. I cannot do it alone because I am a sinner. I cannot do it alone because I was not designed to.
The pain of being humbled is a moment of rejoicing in a God that is forgiving and correcting. Rejoicing in a God that gives mercy and overflowing, unworthy grace. I needed that correcting this morning. I have been put in my place.
I will rest in His love, and be thankful for it. His outpouring love is the love I will pour into others. He will sustain me and give me what I ask and need, because I believe and have faith in His sovereignty and promises and in Jesus Christ. He restores my soul and guides me on the paths of righteousness in His name’s sake. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
God’s grace > my sins
He > i