What is love in action? We all know what love feels like emotionally, right? We all know what it feels like when it’s reciprocated, right? But what does it feel like when received, or given by a loving action?

I went through a period in my life where I questioned love. I questioned the feeling, the giving, the receiving, and everything else that love had anything to do with. I honestly had no idea what it was; and all it’s many beautiful facets. Is that strange? Maybe so. Or maybe you are in that season right now. Or maybe you are just being blind.

While living through that season myself, it was difficult. I not only questioned the love others were giving me, but I questioned if I really understood what feeling it was, or, was supposed to feel like. It didn’t make sense to me. And in that confusion is where I made my biggest and most regretful decisions and mistakes. Looking back at that time in my life, I can’t imagine being in those shoes again, or understand why I didn’t grasp its concept. Lost, and very far from being and feeling love, is exactly where I was.

When I surrendered my life to Jesus last year, I began to understand many things that were very black to me. I was living in a gray world. I didn’t comprehend what white was. Now, that may all make zero sense, but let me explain.

Imagine it this way: Black is sin. Black is evil. Black is blindness to good, blindness to sins destruction. Black is a pit, very far away from light. Black blurs clarity and focus. Black distracts and hides purity, loyalty, honesty, truth! Black darkens your purpose and path. It steals joy and peace. Black is hate. Black doesn’t reflect light. Black is the complete opposite of white…and I’m not talking art. This description has nothing to do with color, tint or tone, and everything to do with Jesus.

In that understanding came many things. And love was one of them. Living in my “gray world”, I still had hope. Hope gave me some sense of light; or white, in this case. Adding white to black makes gray. That lightness (depending on the shade of gray) is the measure of goodness; which is hope, peace, joy, love. The lighter gray my world became, the closer my relationship to Jesus became. I live in a very light-gray world today, and strive towards white; which I will be in when my body dies, through the righteousness of Jesus Christ. I will always be gray, because I will always be sinful. But I can control the shade!

So what all does this have to do with love? Well, everything. When my heart was miraculously changed the day and moment the Holy Spirit indwelled inside me, love entered my life. I saw love for the very first time. I saw it for what it is, what it was, and what it will forever be. The love I felt in the past made sense. I knew what was real, and what had been distorted by Satan. It made me realIze that there were times when I thought I was feeling love, but was actually being persuaded and manipulated through sin. My shame and guild was destroyed through my repentance. And I accepted God’s grace. A beautiful testimony.

Yes, even Satan uses “love” to kill and destroy. Like everything else, he uses whatever he can grasp to do so. But is it love? NO! Absolutely not! It’s poison wrapped in sugar. It’s the devils venom of lust, pride, greed, hate, jealousy, and envy. And he can use all those things to look like love. A love facade. It can look attractive, shiny and pretty, at the time. But it is anything, but.

God is love! And if it’s not from God, it isn’t love and it isn’t truth. It’s Satan’s lies! And he came to steal, kill and destroy. What is he using in your life today to steal from you…kill you…and destroy you??? Is it money? Is it beauty? Is it anger? Is it denial of truth? Denial of Jesus?

Whatever it is, I am praying this wakes you up in seeing your sin, in the light, if it is God’s will. May it be for His glory!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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