The F Word

broken, lost, eyes once very well adjusted to the dark; i found myself with a heart full of unforgiveness, bitterness, regret, sadness, unworthiness, anger; the list goes on. i grew up in church, surrounded by godly people, baptized at 12, and had an adventurous and happy childhood. an imagination that kept me busy full-time in our barns, by the creek that passed through our land, and any where and everywhere i was. but at the age of 18, my world was shaken when my parents separated. i began a life full of regretful mistakes, bad choices, and my relationship with Jesus suffered in the process. i didn't just put Him in the back seat when I moved out, i left Him on the farm I grew up on. after 25 years, i somehow (a divine intervention) found it possible to forgive. i never knew how. i didn't even know what it meant to actually forgive someone. i struggled with it, and i was too stubborn to make the effort to figure it out. i was a victim, you see? and victims need sympathy. looking at the situation now, victim is exactly what I was not. i was being ridiculous, hard-headed; bathing in self-pity. i couldn't see that Jesus had actually packed His bags, and was sitting with me in the front seat the whole time. He taught me how to forgive the minute i decided to let Him. it took me 25 years, but He was patient, loving, and full of mercy. He was there when i finally surrendered to Him. and that was the day i forgave my earthly father for leaving our family, the day i began my relationship with my heavenly Father, and the day i was SAVED! so what are you holding on to? Jesus is there with you right now...and He is waiting on you to let whatever it is, go. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 View all posts by kori tilley