It was just yesterday, right? Or at the most, last month. But that can’t be right. Impossible! Totally impossible.
Two vivacious little boys, full of personality and gumption, running through our house with Ogre ears on their heads, or wearing their t-shirts on their legs, and their jeans on their heads. Mostly laughing and playing, but an occasional brotherly fight between them. This momma is tired! Tired of this age, and ready for the next stage. Will they ever slow down, and will they ever grow up? Can I mentally stay sane until they start school? Doubtful.
What was I thinking that got me to that feeling of needing mercy from all the noise and boy-drama. How did it seem to never end, yet did. And not just end, but end so quickly, in a blink. Unfathomably sudden.
I look at those days and wonder, “where did the time go?” Where did my little boys disappear to and where did these two older young men come from? They look like my babies. Yet, they are not babies.
I’m in utter disbelief. I look at young moms of toddlers, and I think, “you have no idea. You have no idea what fast is. You think you may know, but it’s impossible to fully grasp the speed.” The speed at which your babies grow. I heard it all the time when I was a young mom, and I probably rolled my eyes hearing the redundant cliche. I was just a mom who needed a break. Who wanted a bubble bath, alone. Who couldn’t understand their fascination and need to be with me while “doing my business “. A mom that needed some inner peace and serenity. A mom with so much responsibility and so much inability to handle the stress of raising these two crazy kids!
And here I am.
Fast forward 15 years and I have two handsome young men. Men, who I trust in full confidence in God, that will continue to fill my heart with the joy that only your own children bring. And this too, will pass. My day today will pass, and tomorrow will seem like another 15 years ahead. Because I know it won’t slow down. Time will keep moving at incomprehensible speeds. And not at the same rate, but faster. And it will be a blur. Because it’s humanly impossible to absorb the memories and emotions involved in such measurable time.
I value my days with them more than I use to. I cherish the smiles and the sweet innocence they still carry. I will look back at today and think, “where did the time go?” But I’m here. I’m here now. And I pray that God will protect and guide my two babies into a life full of joy. I pray they seek Him for His strength and wisdom, forgiveness, discernment, and love. Because I know that no matter what the next 15 years holds, they will not be immune to struggle, heartache, and failure.
I grip ahold of today stronger than I ever have. And I am confident of letting go, fully knowing that grace has overcome their next 15 years. God, thank you for my babies. Thank you for Your guidance and Your loving correction. Thank you for protecting and pursuing their little hearts.